Today’s mothers are arguably under greater stress than ever before since there is so much information available on how to parent in the best possible way. What if you’re not in the same boat as your partner? When her spouse criticized her for choosing formula over nursing, one mother felt confused. Breastfeeding may be a terrible process at times, therefore shouldn’t the mother have the last say?
She explained her tale in the AITA Reddit thread:
My daughter, F27, was born 5 weeks ago. My hubby has been extremely supportive throughout my pregnancy and continues to be so. However, a few months ago, we were discussing nursing, and he recommended that we use breastfeeding as our primary means of providing our kid with all of the nutrients she need.
Breastfeeding may be doable given my medical history, but we won’t know for sure until I attempt.
And it aches like hell, the worst kind of misery. I have agony and anguish every time I try to nurse. I’ve tried a variety of approaches to make things easy for myself, but I’m still not content. I made the decision to go with a formula.
My spouse believes I made a hasty decision when I chose formula.
He has done extensive study on the benefits of breastfeeding and believes that not breastfeeding would negatively impact our daughter’s health, growth, and make us sick. It will have to deal with health issues in the future. I explained why, but he continued to give everything.
When the new mom started feeding their daughter formula, the husband couldn’t seem to let it go and continued casting judgmental glances at her.
“He stated he believes I selected formula much too quickly and didn’t strive hard enough to sustain breastfeeding, as a consequence of which I’ve “given up” an opportunity to bond with our baby. I was becoming upset since he seemed to forget why I chose formula, but his reaction was that whatever discomfort I was feeling was due to my being selfish in worrying about things in the short term and not comprehending how not nursing may damage our kid in the long run.
“Basically, I put my comfort over the health of our baby,” she stated.
This was the icing on the cake.
“I’m the one going through this experience and the anguish and suffering,” she said, “no matter how much he reads online about this subject.”
And I told him that he should accept my decision to utilize formula instead of acting as though it was made out of a lack of care or concern for our baby. And if he’s worried about the cost of formula, well, it is what it is because if I can’t be healthy, neither can our kid.”
“It didn’t feel like he was giving his perspective, but more like guiltripping,” she said, “because he does this on a daily basis.” “That’s not true, and you know it!” he exclaimed. I’m not angry or anything; all I’m saying is that I’m unhappy that you took this path.”
The tone for the remainder of the night was established by this. He strolled out of his room, grabbed his phone, and got out of bed. I felt terrible because, in my opinion, he was only expressing his ideas, and I was so quick to shut him down and treat him as if he wasn’t the parent with equal say. AITA! “Am I being self-centered?”
Redditors were eager to reassure the mother that she wasn’t mistaken.
FED is the greatest, according to one commenter. If a kid requires a lot of breast milk, medical procedures can be used to help encourage lactation so that breast milk can be provided. If he doesn’t realize how this is causing you sorrow and damage, he’s a selfish person. You used your body to grow up and give birth to this child.