Barry Farmer didn’t grow up in a traditional family with a mother and father, but his upbringing shaped him into the exceptional man he is today—a father of three boys.
When Barry was a toddler, he and his three sisters were placed in “kinship care,” a type of foster care in which relatives or friends look after a child’s needs when their parents are unable to.
Barry used to bounce about from house to house, staying with his parents’ acquaintances. He didn’t have a choice because the arrangement wasn’t sturdy. He subsequently moved into a foster family after spending some time with his aunt.
Barry moved live with his grandmother, whom he had just recently met, when he was four years old. He had neighborhood pals, an excellent school, and a sense of belonging in that house. It was the type of steadiness he required as a youngster.
Despite the fact that Barry’s parents died, he had enormous support from his grandma and others. As a result of that encounter, he decided to become a foster parent.
Barry saw an ad for being a foster parent when he was 20 years old and applied. When the director of programs learned how young he was, she was taken aback, but she took a chance and issued him his foster parent license.
Barry got his first case after a year. In Richmond, Virginia, a 16-year-old kid moved into his family’s house. After the youngster moved out six months later, he was assigned another case: a 7-year-old boy called Jaxon.
Because neither Barry nor the agency knew that Jaxon was white, he was taken aback when they met. He’d never worked with white kids before and had no idea what to anticipate.
“This child is Black in my thoughts,” he recalled. “When I first arrived, he was the whitest white youngster I’d ever worked with… Wow, this is going to be fascinating, I thought. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Barry quickly discovered that he had nothing to be concerned about.
He described him as “very nice and compassionate.” “All he wanted was some embraces and to be called dad.”
They had such a strong bond that when Jaxon moved out and was put with his adoptive family, the boy returned to him.
Barry and Jaxon agreed to make things permanent since they both missed each other.
Barry was just 22 years old at the time, and he expected social workers to object to the adoption, but they didn’t. They understood that in Barry’s caring household, Jaxon had all he needed.
The boy, on the other hand, desired one more thing: a younger sibling.
Barry informed Jaxon that he would consider adopting another kid, even though he had no intention of doing so. Someone gave him a website with foster kids looking for a family, and that’s how he met Xavier, an 8-year-old boy.
When the child was 11, he moved in with him and Jaxon, and Barry legally adopted him.
Barry’s family expanded when he adopted Jeremiah, a 4-year-old who needed respite care. Jeremiah was welcomed with loving arms by his older brothers, and Barry finally adopted him when he was five.
“Becoming a foster parent was an homage to my grandma since I’ll never be able to repay her, but I was able to pay it forward,” he added.
Barry, now 34, is happy with his three sons, Jaxon, 19, Xavier, 17, and Jeremiah, 11. The family likes traveling on East Coast road vacations, visiting amusement parks, seeing new places, and visiting the beach.
Barry hopes that more parents will think about fostering or adopting their children.
“Single parenting isn’t a bad thing. “With a village, it’s really achievable,” he remarked. “I would urge individuals to become adoptive parents as well as licensed foster parents.”
To discover more about Barry and his three boys, watch the video below.
“What happens when love brings two people together to form a family?” With enough time, you can build a genuine family. Many people mistakenly believe my sons are biologically linked, yet they are simply related by circumstance.
As their father, I believe I am better able to comprehend them since, as a former foster youth, I have been through similar circumstances. Our foster children require someone who are willing to accompany them through their youth and help them rebuild their lives.
Let’s not forget that children in FosterCare did not ask for the life they are living, nor did they ask for the horrible events they have faced. Let us do everything we can to help them at this most vulnerable period in their life.
Foster children want for normalcy in a family situation, but they often don’t know what that looks like, what it feels like, or what it entails on their part. They require families like yours to demonstrate, support, accept, and recognize them as individuals who matter.
Every child needs a loving family and a permanent home. However, did you know? More than 120,000 children are waiting to be adopted in foster care.